Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
