try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
