spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
