@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
