I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
