someone threw a dead crab at me
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
