If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
