I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
did i walk over a car last night?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
