You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
