I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
