K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
