The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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