i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
