Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
