he thought i was a dude.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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