I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
