hell yes lets make some ravioli
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
