Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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