Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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