I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think a kid would responsible me up
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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