As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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