Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
