If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Success! We fucked roommates!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
