you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
