I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
