She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
