How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
