the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
too bad you live with your parents still
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
