his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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