I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The Olympian is in my bed
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
