Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
