I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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