It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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