well you can't waste a boner
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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