I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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