i permit you to call me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize