i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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