why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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