she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
