At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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