i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
