First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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