Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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