Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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