He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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