It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I stole a fireplace last night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
