Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
