oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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