His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
