i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
