i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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