How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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