How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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