How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
