The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think weed is turning my hair brown
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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