just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize
