Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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