Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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