look no pants
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Someone signed my nipple.
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